I don’t regret going to Alaska. It taught me so much about my intuition and those that suffer from mental illness. I feel this journey only made me a better writer exploring the human experience.
Signs Like a Totem Pole
The plane landed in Anchorage without delay. I wasn’t sure what to expect from my first views of Alaska after researching it for the past five months. Green, lush pine groves, tall snow laden mountains and large blue skies would be the backdrop to my first feature film.
Krystal had already grabbed her backpack and was bubbling over with anticipation and a little apprehension. Would this be the same Alaska she knew 25 years ago? I was to write her life story, a feature film about the events that led her back to the man who broke her heart so many years ago and the woman she had now become.
It was a story of survival and redemption. I was excited that this movie could launch her career as a Life Coach. Little did I know that this trip would be a shocking discovery of broken dreams, harsh realities and a tattered soul.
It took several years to get to the point in my life that I could honestly say, “I feel fulfilled.” This came through the realization that I was finally at peace by myself. I could be anywhere at anytime and feel content to share that space alone and not feel desperate to have someone beside me. This didn’t mean I didn’t want to share my life with someone. I just didn’t feel the need to have someone there to feel fulfilled.
I wasn’t a needy child nor adult. I was very comfortable being independent and doing things by myself. Maybe I had it easier than most, but I did notice I could have gone down a different path if I didn’t start questioning myself why I wanted certain things or people in my life.
I have experienced many women friends unable to feel truly happy unless they were in a relationship. Many of them also felt the need to surround themselves with things, only to feel the same once they put the items in a closet.
Our media has inundated us with people desperately needing to have things or someone in their life; clothing, home goods, an animal, another piece of something they are after.
Yet, I also noticed many people always reaching for “something else,” again and again and still feeling lack.