A Message to My Dad

 

IMG_7924

My parents, Philip C. Holmen and Jeannine R. Calande on their wedding day.

I’m writing this as my father is preparing himself to transition from this Earth into the expansive form of himself.  I called him yesterday in the ICU to tell him how much I loved him.  I could tell by his faint whisper of a voice that it wouldn’t be much longer.  I had asked him several times if he wanted me to see him, and he said it was okay.  I knew that I wanted my last memory of him to be of him smiling and telling jokes, not the frail shell of a man he is today.

I hold those memories close to my heart.  I know I will be judged by my siblings of my decision not to rush to the hospital, but I have to do what feels right for me.  I don’t believe in doing things out of guilt anymore, but doing things because it is out of Love.   I chose to remember all of the things my father taught me over the years and it was because he loved me.

We all have a story to tell about our parents, though some may have a story of why their parents weren’t in their life.  I was lucky to have both growing up.  Being a writer, reflection is my pastime.  I often reflect where I was in my life to understand where I am going.  It’s within these reflections that I have grown.  Entwined in my childhood were the lessons that my father taught me.

It’s a surreal time for me knowing I am here at this juncture.  Knowing this is a normal process;  we all must die.  But to know someone’s time is bridging closer makes it all more clear to me.  Reflecting on our life while living is the most important thinking we can do.  I’m grateful for the times I’ve had to learn a little about this man and little more about me.  Continue reading

5 Reasons Your Siblings are Your Best Friends

kids
 
We can all recall, those of us with siblings, the lasting memories of childhood and the instigators in our life we call brother or sister.  Many of us had close, bonding relationships that made us feel protected, and others recall times of utter chaos and torment.  Some of us felt our birth position as powerful, such as the first born dictates, or how much you were able to get away with things being the baby in the family.  But no matter the type of relationship you had with your siblings, they shaped us in ways we are now finding impacts how well we adjust in our daily adult lives.
 
“There may be no relationship… that’s closer, finer, harder, sweeter, happier, sadder, more filled with joy or fraught with woe, that the relationship we have with our brothers and sisters.” – Jeffrey Kluger, TED Radio Hour. 
 
They know your real Persona.
 

Continue reading