10,000 miles in seven weeks has brought me to my new life. Leaving our 3,700 square foot home to our new 45 foot boat in Florida brings many unexpected challenges and joy. Giving up the safety-net job of teaching was the first step, then it was putting all of my life into the back of my Dodge Avenger. (That’s when I realized that everything in my life was truly temporary!) I also realized that picking and choosing items to keep in life and those to let go of can be emotional, yet freeing.
Things to Keep
Some things were easy to keep. The things that make life a little easier, as well as things that brought me joy. It was the memories of friends I had made in the past 25 years living in Nevada. They were there for me for a reason or a season, though only a few were for longer. The memories of those that made me laugh or listened to my sorrows will always hold a special place in my heart. The memories of having groups of friends where monthly get-togethers were fun diversions, to watching their children grow making us feel a little older and wiser. Also, the beauty of Lake Tahoe and the places that brought me happiness. I often visit those places in my mind when I need a pick me up.
Things I Got Rid Of Continue reading
I don’t regret going to Alaska. It taught me so much about my intuition and those that suffer from mental illness. I feel this journey only made me a better writer exploring the human experience.
Signs Like a Totem Pole
The plane landed in Anchorage without delay. I wasn’t sure what to expect from my first views of Alaska after researching it for the past five months. Green, lush pine groves, tall snow laden mountains and large blue skies would be the backdrop to my first feature film.
Krystal had already grabbed her backpack and was bubbling over with anticipation and a little apprehension. Would this be the same Alaska she knew 25 years ago? I was to write her life story, a feature film about the events that led her back to the man who broke her heart so many years ago and the woman she had now become.
It was a story of survival and redemption. I was excited that this movie could launch her career as a Life Coach. Little did I know that this trip would be a shocking discovery of broken dreams, harsh realities and a tattered soul.
It took several years to get to the point in my life that I could honestly say, “I feel fulfilled.” This came through the realization that I was finally at peace by myself. I could be anywhere at anytime and feel content to share that space alone and not feel desperate to have someone beside me. This didn’t mean I didn’t want to share my life with someone. I just didn’t feel the need to have someone there to feel fulfilled.
I wasn’t a needy child nor adult. I was very comfortable being independent and doing things by myself. Maybe I had it easier than most, but I did notice I could have gone down a different path if I didn’t start questioning myself why I wanted certain things or people in my life.
I have experienced many women friends unable to feel truly happy unless they were in a relationship. Many of them also felt the need to surround themselves with things, only to feel the same once they put the items in a closet.
Our media has inundated us with people desperately needing to have things or someone in their life; clothing, home goods, an animal, another piece of something they are after.
Yet, I also noticed many people always reaching for “something else,” again and again and still feeling lack.
Practicing the life of a writer is much more fun than the practicality of it. I could be bogged down with the fears of how was I going to make it, rather than the sheer joy of creating.
I am taking a leave of absence from teaching to heal myself from stress and begin my life as a writer. It took me several years to finally get myself to this point and start my dream.
Why did it take so long? Life got in the way. From being a mother and wife, then a divorce to freedom, I never found the inner strength I needed to believe in myself.
Then the pieces seemed to fall into place, once I allowed myself to see the signs. Continue reading
There is truly no other way to say this as well as Prince Ea has in this video.
I thought this fitting before Valentine’s Day.
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” ― Maya Angelou
It’s hard when you are in a budding relationship and those words are spoken. They were told to me early on in a previous relationship sending an early warning sign to my heart. Being told you are ‘too good to be true’ sends a message that your actions and intentions are being questioned. It took me a long time to realize it was actually their issue of trust and being vulnerable, though as the receiver it can still hurt… a lot.
I had always wondered about those characters in movies that could masterfully manipulate their victims or cleverly get out of impossible death-defying situations. I am not one of those people. Yes, I’ve been blessed in many ways that have provided me wonderful surprises and memorable events, however I don’t have a manipulative mind. To manipulate someone for your own intentions means you aren’t receiving their authentic actions, either.